In 2005, I wrote a song. The song, entitled "Dressed Like Aces," contained a bass line and keyboard part that I fleshed out into three songs (Dressed Like Aces Part 1, Part 2 and Undressed Like Aces) as a part of an unreleased EP by the same name.
I brought these songs to my then band The Pax Romana. The songs themselves were not necessarily compatible with the style of the band, but the bassline and keyboard riff stuck. After some jamming about, the guitarist, Jay Ziegler and I worked up a slightly different arrangement with a different feel and a modified bassline. The song resonated with the band and it became one of our best. Jay is a master of arrangement and composition, and his progressive dynamics completely changed the song.
The new song, entitled "1926," was subdequently released on our independent self-produced album "Force Majeur."
The band broke up in late 2006.
Having kept in touch over the years and even working on a side project in 2008 called King Cobra Triangles, Jay and I continued collaborating off and on. In fact, Jay was the keen ear that turned the phrases "progressive garage rock" and "garage prog" in description of my developing personal style.
In 2013, I recorded Jay's song "Botox Killer," as part of The JackKnife Barbers album Blood On The Ivories as an homage to the Mighty Jay (as I had begun referring to him). It had been a fun simple song that we had played in some form in The Pax Romana. Jay had finished fleshing out the lyrics in 2009 for my then band The Jackknife Barbers. I was diligent at the time to credit Jay and thank him for sharing his composition.
In 2015, I was playing in the Charlotte-based band Careless Romantic. In the interest of trying some new ideas out, I introduced them to portions of the elements of the "Dressed Like Aces" and "1926." I've always been a fan of poaching previous material from my compositions; I think of it as being "self referential."
The song, "Orale" (pronounced "Odelay") was born. This was recorded and published on Careless Romantic's debut album "No Heart To Break."
Regrettably, I did not insist on crediting Jay for his role in re-writing the song. In my defense, I was bereft of creative control during the recording and publishing process of this album, having to remind the bassist twice to just to get my name spelled correctly on the back cover. The album was published hastily and largely without my creative input.
For my lack of giving credit to Jay for his creative contributions as well as his support and inspiration, I regret the resulting publication.
Jay has remained a gracious and forgiving friend and fellow musician over the years and I sincerely appreciate the role he has played in my life and my pursuit of music.
While I can't edit the album credits, I can credit Jay Ziegler here on my blog. It's official, it's on the internet, it's a document.
Thanks again, Jay. Keep rocking.
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Sunday, December 29, 2013
You Won't Believe What Matt Stache Said About Click Baiting Headlines
Something I had set about to do with both my blog and my band's social media presence was to be more socially conscious and speak out on issues that I believe in. The band is currently on hiatus, and while I make plans to reform the band and potentially pursue other musical projects, I surmise that it is about time that I attack that aforementioned goal.
In my eyes, a great problem with the world is people who live a formulaic and unexamined life. For instance, I've edited the first paragraph three times just because I felt like some of the phrase I used were cliches. I'm even somewhat unsure of using the phrase "unexamined life," and "for instance."
This scourge is no more evident than in the rampant use of "click baiting" headlines. "Click baiting" is wording a headline in such a way that the reader must click the link before actually knowing whether or not the content and topic of the article is worth reading. Often, the headline itself is completely misleading, sounding much like a prime time spot for the late night news -- stay tuned for the rest of the story at 11:00. Such headlines often contain phrases like "At first I thought... but now..." and "You'll never believe what..." These headlines lure the reader in, often with content that isn't worthy of such a melodramatic headline. I can confidently say that such activity truly is "viral" in all senses of the word.
To compound matters, most people who share these articles via social media barely editorialize the link when posting -- adding only such things as "So true" or "OMG." I recall a month ago seeing an NPR article posted multiple times regarding something on a dam; it wasn't until three weeks passed that finally someone shared the link with the helpful explanation that it was mountain goats on the dam.
One of the greatest offenders in these scheme is www.upworthy.com. By Googling the phrase "I hate click baiting," I found an article that I thought was going to be critical of Upworthy's tactics. However, the author spends most of the article praising Upworthy's socially conscious position (a bias with which I proudly side), and explains away their success by the value of their content. The dismisses the dismal tactic of click baiting with an "aww shucks," attitude toward this practice.
I'm no journalist, and I'm sure I'm only a mediocre blogger, but click baiting strikes me as poor form and sensationalistic journalism. I urge my readers to not click on click baiting headlines, not share click baiting headlines, and offer critique and spoilers on such headlines shared by their friends.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
My Sunday Feeling on a Thursday Morning
Last night was about as epic as you get within the limits of the law and reasonable human behavior. We rocked the house at The Saloon at NC Music Factory with our good friends Wood Head and SnuffalufaFUNK. We made some new friends and had a blast.
I was lamenting the other day that no one has dollar beers any more. It turns out The Saloon has dollar mystery beers every day. They're not really "mystery" beers because they totally straight-up tell you which beers they are and you're allowed to choose.
We arrived around 6:30 and unloaded, finding The Saloon packed wall to wall with business folks in suits. By the time Wood Head took the stage, most of the pre-show crowd had started to drift off from their happy hour networking session. Until the rain came.
We actually retained quite a few people from the happy hour crowd due -- a bit of a captive audience. We made some fantastic new friends and met some wonderful people. At least one guy was able to find something danceable about every one of our songs. Which is impressive since some of our time signatures are questionable if not entirely ill-defined.
The band, the other bands and the audience all expressed that they believe it was quite possibly our best show ever. The sound was fantastic and the energy was high. We're very much looking forward to returning to The Saloon at NC Music Factory in March for our show with The Sexual Side-Effects.
Once again, we'd like to thank Matt the Sound Guy, Callie the bartender (I'm sure I'm spelling that wrong) and the entire staff at The Saloon for a wonderful evening.
I'd also like to extend a personal "just wait until next time" to Jasmine (one of the servers) to whom I seemingly lost an extended battle of got-you-last due purely to attrition.
I was lamenting the other day that no one has dollar beers any more. It turns out The Saloon has dollar mystery beers every day. They're not really "mystery" beers because they totally straight-up tell you which beers they are and you're allowed to choose.
We arrived around 6:30 and unloaded, finding The Saloon packed wall to wall with business folks in suits. By the time Wood Head took the stage, most of the pre-show crowd had started to drift off from their happy hour networking session. Until the rain came.
We actually retained quite a few people from the happy hour crowd due -- a bit of a captive audience. We made some fantastic new friends and met some wonderful people. At least one guy was able to find something danceable about every one of our songs. Which is impressive since some of our time signatures are questionable if not entirely ill-defined.
The band, the other bands and the audience all expressed that they believe it was quite possibly our best show ever. The sound was fantastic and the energy was high. We're very much looking forward to returning to The Saloon at NC Music Factory in March for our show with The Sexual Side-Effects.
Once again, we'd like to thank Matt the Sound Guy, Callie the bartender (I'm sure I'm spelling that wrong) and the entire staff at The Saloon for a wonderful evening.
I'd also like to extend a personal "just wait until next time" to Jasmine (one of the servers) to whom I seemingly lost an extended battle of got-you-last due purely to attrition.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Suck and Draw
It's a realistic question, and I don't pretend to not know why it's asked, but I feel there should be more conversation, more getting to know you, and maybe dinner or a movie before it's asked. At least pretend you want something more from me before you ask the question.
"How big is it?|
"How big is what?"
"Your draw. How big is your draw. How many people do you think your band can bring out?"
I know why you're asking. You're asking because you want to make sure the house is packed and you can make money selling over-priced drinks to my friends and family. But it's getting old when that's the only question that matters.
But there's another factor. How hard do you suck? Ask me that. Some people don't like our sound, some people love it. That's the nature of being a "local band," and being unsigned and without management. But we're not bad, and we do everything we do for the purpose of expressing ourselves, challenging ourselves, getting our rocks off, and connecting with the audience in a way that leaves them entertained and potentially recovering from permanent liver damage.
If you really want to see how big our draw can get, give us reasonable opportunities to expose ourselves to your audiences.
In my opinion, suck and draw are not mutually exclusive traits of a band. A band could have amazing draw but suck really hard. Other bands are really fantastic, don't suck at all and simply don't have much of a draw for whatever reason.
To battle the question of "how big is your draw," I'd really love to figure out a way to form a band that really sucks. A band that will make the bartenders hate life, the sound guy pull his hair out and the promote cringe in shame... but have a huge draw. The band would do no actual damage to anything, but simply be incredibly bad, distasteful and rude, but we'd find some way to back a venue with a fire-hazard sized crowd of well-tipping drinkers.
I was approached by the merch bitch of a local band at a recent show. The band is at least partly made up of kids who look like they might have just graduated high school or gotten out of juvenile detention; they have that wispy downy, three-day goatee action going on. They play absolutely horrible metal covers and have a huge draw. They have no reason to be insecure aside from their entire approach to music.
He lamented "Man, I just heard someone talking shit about our band in the bathroom. They need to recognize. We're awesome. Look at how much merch we have. We have t-shirts and stickers."
He didn't elaborate further, and I wish he had, because what I just quoted sounds so shallow and beside the point that it almost sounds like I'm exaggerating. Statements like that prove nothing about the awesomeness of your band. It just proves that you have the money to buy t-shirts and stickers.
While this is an extreme example, too often, this mindset pervades the music scene. Many young start-up bands feel this way, and even established cover and "working" bands. It's just stupid.
Get over yourself. Get over your draw. Go practice and get better at what actually matters. The music.
"How big is it?|
"How big is what?"
"Your draw. How big is your draw. How many people do you think your band can bring out?"
I know why you're asking. You're asking because you want to make sure the house is packed and you can make money selling over-priced drinks to my friends and family. But it's getting old when that's the only question that matters.
But there's another factor. How hard do you suck? Ask me that. Some people don't like our sound, some people love it. That's the nature of being a "local band," and being unsigned and without management. But we're not bad, and we do everything we do for the purpose of expressing ourselves, challenging ourselves, getting our rocks off, and connecting with the audience in a way that leaves them entertained and potentially recovering from permanent liver damage.
If you really want to see how big our draw can get, give us reasonable opportunities to expose ourselves to your audiences.
In my opinion, suck and draw are not mutually exclusive traits of a band. A band could have amazing draw but suck really hard. Other bands are really fantastic, don't suck at all and simply don't have much of a draw for whatever reason.
To battle the question of "how big is your draw," I'd really love to figure out a way to form a band that really sucks. A band that will make the bartenders hate life, the sound guy pull his hair out and the promote cringe in shame... but have a huge draw. The band would do no actual damage to anything, but simply be incredibly bad, distasteful and rude, but we'd find some way to back a venue with a fire-hazard sized crowd of well-tipping drinkers.
I was approached by the merch bitch of a local band at a recent show. The band is at least partly made up of kids who look like they might have just graduated high school or gotten out of juvenile detention; they have that wispy downy, three-day goatee action going on. They play absolutely horrible metal covers and have a huge draw. They have no reason to be insecure aside from their entire approach to music.
He lamented "Man, I just heard someone talking shit about our band in the bathroom. They need to recognize. We're awesome. Look at how much merch we have. We have t-shirts and stickers."
He didn't elaborate further, and I wish he had, because what I just quoted sounds so shallow and beside the point that it almost sounds like I'm exaggerating. Statements like that prove nothing about the awesomeness of your band. It just proves that you have the money to buy t-shirts and stickers.
While this is an extreme example, too often, this mindset pervades the music scene. Many young start-up bands feel this way, and even established cover and "working" bands. It's just stupid.
Get over yourself. Get over your draw. Go practice and get better at what actually matters. The music.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Scrambled Eggs and Champagne (An Update)
The JackKnife Barbers had a wonderful time at the final round of the Gorilla Music Battle of the Bands. We would especially like to thank (Snuff)alufaFUNK and their fans for sticking around to cheer us on. The energy was high and it was probably the best show we've played in Charlotte.
Despite our small crowd, we managed to tie for third place out of 12 bands. Ultimately, however, we conceded defeat because I was more interested in heading home for scrambled eggs and champagne than sticking around for a tie breaker.
We're very much looking forward to working with Gorilla Music again with their future bookings in the Queen City.
What's on the horizon for The Barbers now?
We've got two upcoming shows at The Saloon at NC Music Factory as well as a show in the NoDa district of Charlotte at The ROUX! with some old friends from Florida. The first weekend in February is still set aside for recording our first album, so look out for that.
As always, don't forget to check the website www.mattstache.com for updates and find us on Facebook, Twitter and Reverbnation.
Despite our small crowd, we managed to tie for third place out of 12 bands. Ultimately, however, we conceded defeat because I was more interested in heading home for scrambled eggs and champagne than sticking around for a tie breaker.
We're very much looking forward to working with Gorilla Music again with their future bookings in the Queen City.
What's on the horizon for The Barbers now?
We've got two upcoming shows at The Saloon at NC Music Factory as well as a show in the NoDa district of Charlotte at The ROUX! with some old friends from Florida. The first weekend in February is still set aside for recording our first album, so look out for that.
As always, don't forget to check the website www.mattstache.com for updates and find us on Facebook, Twitter and Reverbnation.
Monday, January 7, 2013
An End to the Battles
This Saturday is the final round of the Gorilla Records Battle of the Bands at Tremont Music Hall. We really need your help. Once again, our time slot is based on ticket sales, so we really need you to buy your ticket from us ahead of time. Tickets are $10 and you can buy yours by going to www.mattstache.com with your credit/debit card or PayPal. Alternatively, shoot me an email at matt@mattstache.com and I'll coordinate with you to get you your ticket.
So, how did this past weekend go?
We had a fantastic time rocking out The Saloon at NC Music Factory. We met Bryan Peterson of Peterson Productions (the company hosting the show) and hung out with some great musicians. The band I had initially worked with when I moved to Charlotte, "BAKKWOODZ" played immediately after us and put on a great show filled with some fantastic country rock.
Although we won't be going on to the next round of Peterson Productions Battle, we look forward to working to Bryan again in the near future with his other Charlotte bookings.
At the end of the night we loaded up our gear (the parking valets at NC Music Factory are world-class dicks), and headed over to Mattie's Diner for some post-show grub. Mattie's recreated for me the infamous "Stache Dog" that I'd grown to love at Voodoo Dog in Tallahassee. It's basically a Chicago dog (mustard, lettuce, tomato, onions) with guacamole, cucumbers, jalapenos, cheese and chili.
After such an energizing weekend, the Barbers look forward to rocking your ass once again for fun and profit at Tremont Music Hall on Saturday.
So, how did this past weekend go?
We had a fantastic time rocking out The Saloon at NC Music Factory. We met Bryan Peterson of Peterson Productions (the company hosting the show) and hung out with some great musicians. The band I had initially worked with when I moved to Charlotte, "BAKKWOODZ" played immediately after us and put on a great show filled with some fantastic country rock.
Although we won't be going on to the next round of Peterson Productions Battle, we look forward to working to Bryan again in the near future with his other Charlotte bookings.
At the end of the night we loaded up our gear (the parking valets at NC Music Factory are world-class dicks), and headed over to Mattie's Diner for some post-show grub. Mattie's recreated for me the infamous "Stache Dog" that I'd grown to love at Voodoo Dog in Tallahassee. It's basically a Chicago dog (mustard, lettuce, tomato, onions) with guacamole, cucumbers, jalapenos, cheese and chili.
After such an energizing weekend, the Barbers look forward to rocking your ass once again for fun and profit at Tremont Music Hall on Saturday.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Albums and Merch and Shows, Oh My!
Of course, you already know that we have a show coming up tomorrow, January 5th at The Saloon at NC Music Factory. We'll be going on at 9:15PM, so we'll see you there. The next show is next Saturday, January 12th at Tremont Music Hall. Tickets are still available for both shows at www.mattstache.com.
What else is new?
We have tentatively set a date for recording our first full-length album over the first weekend in February. The recording will be done at Dan's house in Fort Mill, SC, and we've decided to just spend the whole weekend there. It will be a veritable band vacation -- waking up in the morning for coffee and recordings, breaking for buffalo wings and beer, and doing overdubs until the BBQ is ready. It will either be an incredibly positive bonding experience or we'll hate each other by the end.
Or, it could be a combination of the two.
The recording will feature some old favorites that I've been doing for years, a good handful of tunes that the Barbers have never before recorded, and at least one old favorite that has been completely re-worked into a progressive masterpiece.
Additionally, I just got a quote from a local screen printer for t-shirts, ladies t-shirts and ladies boyshorts. There is a new design featuring the new logo, so if you have one of the old "Matt Stache and The JackKnife Barbers" t-shirts, then you can still upgrade your wardrobe with our new merch.
We look forward to many scantily-clad ladies sending us photos of their rear-end in our boyshorts, emblazoned with "The JackKnife Barbers" across the rear.
What else is new?
We have tentatively set a date for recording our first full-length album over the first weekend in February. The recording will be done at Dan's house in Fort Mill, SC, and we've decided to just spend the whole weekend there. It will be a veritable band vacation -- waking up in the morning for coffee and recordings, breaking for buffalo wings and beer, and doing overdubs until the BBQ is ready. It will either be an incredibly positive bonding experience or we'll hate each other by the end.
Or, it could be a combination of the two.
The recording will feature some old favorites that I've been doing for years, a good handful of tunes that the Barbers have never before recorded, and at least one old favorite that has been completely re-worked into a progressive masterpiece.
Additionally, I just got a quote from a local screen printer for t-shirts, ladies t-shirts and ladies boyshorts. There is a new design featuring the new logo, so if you have one of the old "Matt Stache and The JackKnife Barbers" t-shirts, then you can still upgrade your wardrobe with our new merch.
We look forward to many scantily-clad ladies sending us photos of their rear-end in our boyshorts, emblazoned with "The JackKnife Barbers" across the rear.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Upcoming shows in January
It feels weird saying "We have shows coming up in January," because it doesn't quite bear the same emphasis as "WE HAVE SHOWS IN JUST A TWO WEEKS!"
The first show is Saturday, January 5th -- the Peterson Productions Battle of the Bands at The Saloon at NC Music Factory (AKA, Charlotte Battle of the Bands). Our time slot is some time around 9PM. Tickets are $5 and can be purchased at our website: www.mattstache.com
I'll hand-deliver your ticket or mail it to you.
The second show is the very next Saturday on January 12th. This is the one we really need your help on. This is the second round of Gorilla Records Battle of the Bands at Tremont Music Hall and once-again, our time slot is based on pre-sale tickets, so we really need our fans to buy tickets NOW. "NOW" means immediately after you finish reading this blog post. Or even sooner. Seriously. Go buy a ticket now and then come back to finish reading the rest of this blog.
Are you back? If so, that's because you purchased your ticket for $10 at www.mattstache.com. I'll hand deliver it to you as well.
To review:
Saturday, January 5th @ 9PM
Peterson Productions Battle of the Bands
The Saloon @ NC Music Factory
Saturday, January 12th @ TBA
Gorilla Records Battle of the Bands
Tremont Music Hall
Get tickets for either or both shows at www.mattstache.com
Finally, as an aside to our existing and loyal fans. We won't be playing any further battles of the bands after these two. We promise. No more pestering you for pre-sale tickets. Or begging you to help us get a good time slot. We will be playing real shows with real "doors open" times and the only thing we'll be pestering you to do is to show up, pay the cover at the door, and have a good time.
I speak for all of The JackKnife Barbers when I say that we're looking forward to a wonderful 2013 and continuing to entertain your ass for fun and profit.
The first show is Saturday, January 5th -- the Peterson Productions Battle of the Bands at The Saloon at NC Music Factory (AKA, Charlotte Battle of the Bands). Our time slot is some time around 9PM. Tickets are $5 and can be purchased at our website: www.mattstache.com
I'll hand-deliver your ticket or mail it to you.
The second show is the very next Saturday on January 12th. This is the one we really need your help on. This is the second round of Gorilla Records Battle of the Bands at Tremont Music Hall and once-again, our time slot is based on pre-sale tickets, so we really need our fans to buy tickets NOW. "NOW" means immediately after you finish reading this blog post. Or even sooner. Seriously. Go buy a ticket now and then come back to finish reading the rest of this blog.
Are you back? If so, that's because you purchased your ticket for $10 at www.mattstache.com. I'll hand deliver it to you as well.
To review:
Saturday, January 5th @ 9PM
Peterson Productions Battle of the Bands
The Saloon @ NC Music Factory
Saturday, January 12th @ TBA
Gorilla Records Battle of the Bands
Tremont Music Hall
Get tickets for either or both shows at www.mattstache.com
Finally, as an aside to our existing and loyal fans. We won't be playing any further battles of the bands after these two. We promise. No more pestering you for pre-sale tickets. Or begging you to help us get a good time slot. We will be playing real shows with real "doors open" times and the only thing we'll be pestering you to do is to show up, pay the cover at the door, and have a good time.
I speak for all of The JackKnife Barbers when I say that we're looking forward to a wonderful 2013 and continuing to entertain your ass for fun and profit.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Declaring Peace on The War on Christmas
Years later, I still stand by these sentiments that I wrote one December. Here is why I wish you Happy Holidays.
(Begin Letter)
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, but no, there is no "War on Christmas."
If you are the sort that becomes angry when wished a "happy holidays" instead of a Merry Christmas, then this is for you.
I appreciate a Merry Christmas. It makes my heart glad that you want me to have an enjoyable day on both Christmas Eve and Day (Dec. 24th and Dec. 25th), but just as Jesus would tell us to go an extra mile, I wish that all of the holidays are happy for you without regard to whether or not you celebrate them.
The eight-day Jewish celebration of Hanukkah begins at sundown on December 11th this year. Lasting just one day more than a week, I hope this festival of lights brings much light to your life whether you are Jew or Gentile.
The ancient feast of Saturnalia was celebrated by the Romans from December 17th through December 24th each year as a feast featuring the reversal of roles between servant and master. My wish for you during this time is that those you serve show appreciation for the hard work and support you provide to them.
Winter solstice, celebrated by many pagans and neo-pagans, is December 21st. During this longest darkest night of winter, I wish you much hope, light and warmth in your home.
The Nordic tradition of Yule (from which we derive many Christmas traditions and decorations) is celebrated for 12 days starting on December 25th. This is the celebration of the birth of the unconquered sun -- a celebration that the sun has re-emerged from its waning winter slumber and the darkest nights of the year are behind us. I wish you renewal and hope for the future at this time of merriment. (And hope for those of us suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder).
Kwanzaa is celebrated from December 26th through January 1st. This is an African American celebration of the first fruits of the harvest with a focus on family and self-improvement. During this holiday, I hope you find joy with your family and greater understanding with those around you.
When I wish you a Happy Holidays, it is not that I am excluding Christmas, minimizing Christianity or declaring war on your beliefs. I wish you a happy holidays because I hope that you find joy, peace and happiness in every day of the holiday season, whether or not you celebrate every day of the holiday season.
Even if you wish only that I have a Merry Christmas, may all of the holidays bring you happiness. Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings and may New Years Day find you at least slightly hungover.
(End Letter)
I've been taught since elementary school to say "Happy Holidays" and "Seasons Greetings," and not in some sort of war-on-Christmas, liberal, god-hating, politically correct way. For me, it's about economy of words. There is more than one holiday celebrated at the end of the year. It's easier to simply wish all of your holidays happy than try to guess which one you'd prefer.
That being said. I wish you a Happy Holidays and hope your entire season is bright.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Epic Weekend Update
The JackKnife Barbers had an epic adventure this past weekend. Playing two shows back to back isn't an experience that I'm unfamiliar with, but the excitement of having our first official gigs since moving to Charlotte was rather energizing.
Our first stop was Spindale, NC for a show at The Ultimate Basement with Red Band Mercenaries, Pinko and (Snuff)alufaFUNK. The Ultimate Basement is sort of an all-ages club/game room with a huge stage and rather massive sound system. We had a blast exploring Spindale and rocking out with the aforementioned bands.
We even had time to drop by Plaza Barber Shop in Forest City for a photo shoot. Plaza Barber Shop is a nearly 100-year-old barber shop with vintage chairs and decor. You can see the photos on our Facebook page.
Our second show for the weekend was the Gorilla Records Battle of the Bands. Facing some fierce competition, we still managed to come out on top and make it to the second round. I'll keep everyone posted on when the second round will be.
So what's up next for The JackKnife Barbers?
We'll be playing the first round of Peterson Productions' Battle of the Bands on Saturday, January 5th at The Saloon at NC Music Factory. Tickets are just $5 and can already be purchased via PayPal or your credit/debit card at www.mattstache.com
Beyond that, we'll be working on two brand new original songs for you at our next rehearsal, and even muddling through our first cover song as well.
We'd like to thank all of our fans and friends for making this weekend such a success. We're looking forward to a great new year and further opportunities to rock your ass for fun and profit.
Our first stop was Spindale, NC for a show at The Ultimate Basement with Red Band Mercenaries, Pinko and (Snuff)alufaFUNK. The Ultimate Basement is sort of an all-ages club/game room with a huge stage and rather massive sound system. We had a blast exploring Spindale and rocking out with the aforementioned bands.
We even had time to drop by Plaza Barber Shop in Forest City for a photo shoot. Plaza Barber Shop is a nearly 100-year-old barber shop with vintage chairs and decor. You can see the photos on our Facebook page.
Our second show for the weekend was the Gorilla Records Battle of the Bands. Facing some fierce competition, we still managed to come out on top and make it to the second round. I'll keep everyone posted on when the second round will be.
So what's up next for The JackKnife Barbers?
We'll be playing the first round of Peterson Productions' Battle of the Bands on Saturday, January 5th at The Saloon at NC Music Factory. Tickets are just $5 and can already be purchased via PayPal or your credit/debit card at www.mattstache.com
Beyond that, we'll be working on two brand new original songs for you at our next rehearsal, and even muddling through our first cover song as well.
We'd like to thank all of our fans and friends for making this weekend such a success. We're looking forward to a great new year and further opportunities to rock your ass for fun and profit.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
(Mustache) Waxing Philosophical
I was asked today about mustache wax and what I recommend to style one's whiskers. I've had brief conversations about this in the past, but never really put it into words permanently. Since no one is sponsoring me (yet), I'll refrain from naming brand names.
Amongst all forms of mustache wax, there are only really two types. Both are made with some amount of beeswax but perform very differently. There are various differences from one brand to another within these two types, but by and large, 99% of waxes can be put into one of these categories.
Water-soluble opaque wax packaged in a tube
This is the sort of wax I currently use. It comes in a small metal tube and is sometimes packaged with a tiny comb. The brand I prefer produces this wax in neutral/white, chestnut, brown and black colors. I wear the chestnut colored wax, but I have tried the other colors as well. Neutral/white makes my mustache look like it's going grey. Black is fun around Halloween.
To apply the aforementioned wax, one puts a small squeeze onto the finger and works it into the whiskers. I saturate my mustache with the wax, but some gentlemen may prefer just a dab to twist the ends. I then comb it through the mustache to ensure even coverage and follow by twisting my mustache into shape. Afterwards, it is likely that one will need to use q-tips to remove the excess smeared wax from one's face.
This wax stays moderately moist for about an hour, but by lunch time it has hardened into a nice stiff, rigid mustache. It remains slightly pliable and I can curl the ends into a tighter curl as the day progresses. Too much fidgeting with the mustache will eventually cause the wax to lose its hold. As mentioned, the wax is water soluble and can be washed out in warm water quite easily. It must therefore be applied daily to a clean mustache.
Semi-hard wax in a tin
This wax appears to be a dark honey color and is packaged in a small tin. When applied, it is actually quite transparent and the natural color of the mustache will shine through. It is semi-hard and can be softened with heat. The overall smell is that of honey because the major component of this wax is beeswax, and the scene goes well with pipe smoke, cigars and whisky.
To apply, one must heat the wax with a hairdryer (or hot plate) and pinch out a small ball of wax. The wax can be worked into the mustache while simultaneously warming the whiskers with the hairdryer. Comb through as the wax cools and then twist and style.
This wax will stay pliable all day and although it provides a good hold, it will never fully stiffen into a rigid mustache. This can be beneficial if you like futzing with your whiskers all day, but is a pain if you want a tightly curled mustache.
This wax can only be removed in part with warm water; in the absence of soap, one's daily shower will only slightly reduce the amount of wax in one's mustache. The addition of the tiniest amount of extra wax every morning will keep your mustache manageable for weeks. If your mustache falls out of style during the day, simply re-heat with a hairdryer, comb to redistribute the wax, and re-style. To remove the wax, wash with a clarifying shampoo and hot water vigorously.
Bonus: Homemade semi-hard wax
You can make your own semi-hard wax in the fashion of the second type by melting and combining two parts beeswax to one part petroleum jelly.
Whether going for full Dali-style handlebars or just a little twist, the key to mustache grooming is persistence, dedication and a little bit of wax. Which wax you choose should be based on its ability to maintain your style of 'stache while fitting with your lifestyle and personal grooming habits.
Amongst all forms of mustache wax, there are only really two types. Both are made with some amount of beeswax but perform very differently. There are various differences from one brand to another within these two types, but by and large, 99% of waxes can be put into one of these categories.
Water-soluble opaque wax packaged in a tube
This is the sort of wax I currently use. It comes in a small metal tube and is sometimes packaged with a tiny comb. The brand I prefer produces this wax in neutral/white, chestnut, brown and black colors. I wear the chestnut colored wax, but I have tried the other colors as well. Neutral/white makes my mustache look like it's going grey. Black is fun around Halloween.
To apply the aforementioned wax, one puts a small squeeze onto the finger and works it into the whiskers. I saturate my mustache with the wax, but some gentlemen may prefer just a dab to twist the ends. I then comb it through the mustache to ensure even coverage and follow by twisting my mustache into shape. Afterwards, it is likely that one will need to use q-tips to remove the excess smeared wax from one's face.
This wax stays moderately moist for about an hour, but by lunch time it has hardened into a nice stiff, rigid mustache. It remains slightly pliable and I can curl the ends into a tighter curl as the day progresses. Too much fidgeting with the mustache will eventually cause the wax to lose its hold. As mentioned, the wax is water soluble and can be washed out in warm water quite easily. It must therefore be applied daily to a clean mustache.
Semi-hard wax in a tin
This wax appears to be a dark honey color and is packaged in a small tin. When applied, it is actually quite transparent and the natural color of the mustache will shine through. It is semi-hard and can be softened with heat. The overall smell is that of honey because the major component of this wax is beeswax, and the scene goes well with pipe smoke, cigars and whisky.
To apply, one must heat the wax with a hairdryer (or hot plate) and pinch out a small ball of wax. The wax can be worked into the mustache while simultaneously warming the whiskers with the hairdryer. Comb through as the wax cools and then twist and style.
This wax will stay pliable all day and although it provides a good hold, it will never fully stiffen into a rigid mustache. This can be beneficial if you like futzing with your whiskers all day, but is a pain if you want a tightly curled mustache.
This wax can only be removed in part with warm water; in the absence of soap, one's daily shower will only slightly reduce the amount of wax in one's mustache. The addition of the tiniest amount of extra wax every morning will keep your mustache manageable for weeks. If your mustache falls out of style during the day, simply re-heat with a hairdryer, comb to redistribute the wax, and re-style. To remove the wax, wash with a clarifying shampoo and hot water vigorously.
Bonus: Homemade semi-hard wax
You can make your own semi-hard wax in the fashion of the second type by melting and combining two parts beeswax to one part petroleum jelly.
Whether going for full Dali-style handlebars or just a little twist, the key to mustache grooming is persistence, dedication and a little bit of wax. Which wax you choose should be based on its ability to maintain your style of 'stache while fitting with your lifestyle and personal grooming habits.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Of Battles and Broth
If you didn't already notice, The JackKnife Barbers left everyone relatively alone during the Thanksgiving weekend. Our fans were free from incessant posts about "buy tickets now" and "please help us now." We hope you enjoyed your short reprieve because I've returned now with the resolve of a musk ox in free fall and the passion of a short-haired house cat.
You are running out of time to buy your ticket for the Battle of the Bands on Dec. 8th at Tremont Music Hall. Our time slot is based on OUR pre-show ticket sales. The more tickets we sell before the show, the better our time slot. If you're planning on buying a ticket at the door, you're an asshole because you're not helping anyone. Get your ticket now at www.mattstache.com or send me at email at matt@mattstache.com.
Seriously. If you buy your ticket at the door at 10PM, it's likely that you've already missed our set because we ended up going on at 5:30PM because you didn't buy a pre-show ticket.
Now that I've made that clear, I'd like to say that I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was lovely and that you binged on an obscene amount of turkey (or tofurkey for our vegan friends) and copious amounts of stuffing and potatoes. What should you do with the leftover turkey? Make turkey sandwiches like a goddamn American! Pick that carcass clean!
And then...
..make turkey broth out of the carcass.
I smoked my turkey, so the carcass has a lovely hickory aroma to it. Simply follow this recipe:
1 turkey carcass
5 carrots
1 onion
3 stalks of celery
1 head of garlic (yeah, one FULL fucking head of garlic)
Salt and pepper to taste (you can taste, can't you?)
Fill a stock pot with enough water to thoroughly submerge your turkey carcass, bring to a boil. Add the rest of the aforementioned ingredients and cover the pot. Let it boil for four or five hours or until the bones of the turkey fall apart in your hands. Continue to add water as necessary.
Strain out the bits and pieces and store in your fridge. You can also pour it into ice cube trays and make turkey broth ice cubes. You can use these cubes to quickly add flavor to soups or to simply whip up a quick cup of broth when you're in the mood.
Alternatively, turkey broth ice cubes add a fun element to any party when mixing cocktails for that guest that has overstayed their welcome.
You are running out of time to buy your ticket for the Battle of the Bands on Dec. 8th at Tremont Music Hall. Our time slot is based on OUR pre-show ticket sales. The more tickets we sell before the show, the better our time slot. If you're planning on buying a ticket at the door, you're an asshole because you're not helping anyone. Get your ticket now at www.mattstache.com or send me at email at matt@mattstache.com.
Seriously. If you buy your ticket at the door at 10PM, it's likely that you've already missed our set because we ended up going on at 5:30PM because you didn't buy a pre-show ticket.
Now that I've made that clear, I'd like to say that I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was lovely and that you binged on an obscene amount of turkey (or tofurkey for our vegan friends) and copious amounts of stuffing and potatoes. What should you do with the leftover turkey? Make turkey sandwiches like a goddamn American! Pick that carcass clean!
And then...
..make turkey broth out of the carcass.
I smoked my turkey, so the carcass has a lovely hickory aroma to it. Simply follow this recipe:
1 turkey carcass
5 carrots
1 onion
3 stalks of celery
1 head of garlic (yeah, one FULL fucking head of garlic)
Salt and pepper to taste (you can taste, can't you?)
Fill a stock pot with enough water to thoroughly submerge your turkey carcass, bring to a boil. Add the rest of the aforementioned ingredients and cover the pot. Let it boil for four or five hours or until the bones of the turkey fall apart in your hands. Continue to add water as necessary.
Strain out the bits and pieces and store in your fridge. You can also pour it into ice cube trays and make turkey broth ice cubes. You can use these cubes to quickly add flavor to soups or to simply whip up a quick cup of broth when you're in the mood.
Alternatively, turkey broth ice cubes add a fun element to any party when mixing cocktails for that guest that has overstayed their welcome.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Battle of the Bands at Tremont Music Hall
Gorilla Music has booked The JackKnife Barbers to play a Battle of the Bands at Tremont Music Hall on Saturday, December 8th. Our time slot is based on how many tickets we sell. The more tickets we sell, the later the time slot. The show starts at 4PM and runs until mid-night, so you can see how important that is.
We will be reporting our ticket sales to Gorilla Music one week before the show, and that is when we will be able to tell everyone what time slot we'll be playing.
It's incredibly important that you get your tickets early. The tickets are $10 pre-sale and $12 at the door on the day of the show.
You can either get your ticket by emailing me at matt@mattstache.com or by going to www.mattstache.com and ordering online. You can pay online via credit/debit card or PayPal. I'll be happy to mail you your ticket or hand-deliver it.
Please check out the Facebook event page at: http://www.facebook.com/events/492592080771790/?fref=ts
We will be reporting our ticket sales to Gorilla Music one week before the show, and that is when we will be able to tell everyone what time slot we'll be playing.
It's incredibly important that you get your tickets early. The tickets are $10 pre-sale and $12 at the door on the day of the show.
You can either get your ticket by emailing me at matt@mattstache.com or by going to www.mattstache.com and ordering online. You can pay online via credit/debit card or PayPal. I'll be happy to mail you your ticket or hand-deliver it.
Please check out the Facebook event page at: http://www.facebook.com/events/492592080771790/?fref=ts
Monday, November 5, 2012
Upcoming Shows in Charlotte, NC
You've been missing your JackKnife Barbers. Where can you see us perform next?
When: Friday, December 7th @ 7:00PM
Where: The Ultimate Basement in Spindale, NC
With whom: Red Band Mercenaries, Pinko, and SnuffalufaFUNK
How much: All ages - $5
For more info: http://www.facebook.com/ultimatebasementstreetteam
When: Saturday, December 8th (time slot to be announced)
Where: Tremont Music Hall in Charlotte, NC
With whom: Battle of the Bands by Gorilla Music
How much: All ages - Presale $10, Day-of-show $12
For more info: Our time slot is based on ticket sales. You can order your tickets on our website at www.mattstache.com via PayPal. Please include either your mailing address or other contact info in the comments section when ordering.
When: Saturday, January 5th (our time slot is between 9:00PM and 10:00PM to be announced)
Where: The Saloon at NC Music Factory in Charlotte, NC
With whom: Battle of the Bands by Peterson Productions
How much: Presale $5
For more info: You'll be able to pre-order your tickets for this battle of the bands from our website about three weeks before the show.
Don't forget to check our Facebook page (www.facebook.com/mattstacheband) for continuous updates, and check out our website (www.mattstache.com) for pre-ordering your tickets. As always, follow me on Twitter @mattstacheband for my repetitious rantings in 140 characters or fewer.
When: Friday, December 7th @ 7:00PM
Where: The Ultimate Basement in Spindale, NC
With whom: Red Band Mercenaries, Pinko, and SnuffalufaFUNK
How much: All ages - $5
For more info: http://www.facebook.com/ultimatebasementstreetteam
When: Saturday, December 8th (time slot to be announced)
Where: Tremont Music Hall in Charlotte, NC
With whom: Battle of the Bands by Gorilla Music
How much: All ages - Presale $10, Day-of-show $12
For more info: Our time slot is based on ticket sales. You can order your tickets on our website at www.mattstache.com via PayPal. Please include either your mailing address or other contact info in the comments section when ordering.
When: Saturday, January 5th (our time slot is between 9:00PM and 10:00PM to be announced)
Where: The Saloon at NC Music Factory in Charlotte, NC
With whom: Battle of the Bands by Peterson Productions
How much: Presale $5
For more info: You'll be able to pre-order your tickets for this battle of the bands from our website about three weeks before the show.
Don't forget to check our Facebook page (www.facebook.com/mattstacheband) for continuous updates, and check out our website (www.mattstache.com) for pre-ordering your tickets. As always, follow me on Twitter @mattstacheband for my repetitious rantings in 140 characters or fewer.
The New JackKnife Barbers
If you've seen the website lately (www.mattstache.com), you know that something is afoot. What you might not be able to immediately tell, is that I've moved to Charlotte, NC. The Tallahassee-based JackKnife Barbers are no more, and I've re-formed the band in Charlotte with all new members, save myself -- I'm still the same Matt Stache.
Several things to note:
We've played a handful of open mic nights and open jams here, and the response has been incredible. It does seem like this town really needs a fresh sound and is actually hungry for something unusual.
We've got a number of shows coming up soon, but I'll post about those in a subsequent blog entry.
Several things to note:
- The band is no longer "Matt Stache and The JackKnife Barbers," but rather we are simply "The JackKnife Barbers." This fits onto flyers and whatnot much easier, and is easier for consistent branding. I reassure once again that I am still Matt Stache.
- We're back to being a power trio. Drums, keyboards and guitar. I'm doing the old left-hand bass routine again and routing the bass out to my trusty 200-watt keyboard amp with the big boomy 15" speaker while the rest of the keyboards go through the rotary amp.
- It's considered really bad form to make a numbered list and not have a third item. So, here's a third item. Suck it.
We've played a handful of open mic nights and open jams here, and the response has been incredible. It does seem like this town really needs a fresh sound and is actually hungry for something unusual.
We've got a number of shows coming up soon, but I'll post about those in a subsequent blog entry.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Not a "Bad Idea"
Four or so drinks in one weekday evening, I said to Lance one evening, "Would you like a bad idea?"
"What's a 'bad idea,'?" he inquired as I began mixing an entire pitcher of Rob Roy.
"A 'bad idea'," I explained, "Is that last drink you have before bed."
"Does it have alcohol in it?"
"Yessssss."
"Then yesss."
"For example, this pitcher of Rob Roy." I continued "Inevitably, I will wake up tomorrow and say 'Ughhh.. that Rob Roy was a bad idea."
I've mastered the art since of avoiding the "bad idea." Instead, I've become interested recently in the application of fortified wine in cocktail form. Semi-innocuous and certainly less potent than other cocktails -- equally complex and enjoyable.
Bereft of ingredients necessary to make a trule classic port or sherry cocktail, I offer this substitute which I improvised this evening.
'Stacheville Rose
-----------------
2oz. port
0.25oz. grenadine
0.25oz. orange juice
gingerale
Shake the first three as hard as you can in a shaker filled with cracked ice. Strain into tall ice-filled glass and top with gingerale.
"What's a 'bad idea,'?" he inquired as I began mixing an entire pitcher of Rob Roy.
"A 'bad idea'," I explained, "Is that last drink you have before bed."
"Does it have alcohol in it?"
"Yessssss."
"Then yesss."
"For example, this pitcher of Rob Roy." I continued "Inevitably, I will wake up tomorrow and say 'Ughhh.. that Rob Roy was a bad idea."
I've mastered the art since of avoiding the "bad idea." Instead, I've become interested recently in the application of fortified wine in cocktail form. Semi-innocuous and certainly less potent than other cocktails -- equally complex and enjoyable.
Bereft of ingredients necessary to make a trule classic port or sherry cocktail, I offer this substitute which I improvised this evening.
'Stacheville Rose
-----------------
2oz. port
0.25oz. grenadine
0.25oz. orange juice
gingerale
Shake the first three as hard as you can in a shaker filled with cracked ice. Strain into tall ice-filled glass and top with gingerale.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Vox Toddy
My new band, Matt Stache and the Public Option, is my first experience as the only frontman for a band. That is to say, in the past, I've shared the role as lead singer. As a result, I've been spending long practices as the only person singing and doing so with no relief.
We have a show this Friday at Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack, and I'm starting to feel a bit of scratchiness in my throat. I'm not sure if it's the crud that has been going around or whether I'm simply experiencing vocal fatigue, but I'm not experiencing any secondary symptoms.
What follows is my own recipe for vocal-chord-soothing tea. Use green tea if you're planning on staying awake for a bit, use chamomile if you're planning on sleeping within a few hours.
1 teabag of the desired tea
4oz. of hot water (not quite boiling, of course)
1oz. of coconut rum (NOT optional)
1 tsp. local honey
Zest and juice of 1/4 of a lemon
In an appropriately sized mug, combine rum, honey and lemon juice. Place the zest in a teaball and drop into mug with teabag. Add hot water, steep 3 minutes and enjoy.
My Band Dad offers this advice pre-stage. Despite what any classically trained vocalist will tell you, hot coffee and alcohol are not bad for your vocal chords before singing. For the perfect rock singer preparation, drink a hot cup of black coffee 30 minutes before stage and follow it up with a cold draft beer immediately before your performance.
We have a show this Friday at Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack, and I'm starting to feel a bit of scratchiness in my throat. I'm not sure if it's the crud that has been going around or whether I'm simply experiencing vocal fatigue, but I'm not experiencing any secondary symptoms.
What follows is my own recipe for vocal-chord-soothing tea. Use green tea if you're planning on staying awake for a bit, use chamomile if you're planning on sleeping within a few hours.
1 teabag of the desired tea
4oz. of hot water (not quite boiling, of course)
1oz. of coconut rum (NOT optional)
1 tsp. local honey
Zest and juice of 1/4 of a lemon
In an appropriately sized mug, combine rum, honey and lemon juice. Place the zest in a teaball and drop into mug with teabag. Add hot water, steep 3 minutes and enjoy.
My Band Dad offers this advice pre-stage. Despite what any classically trained vocalist will tell you, hot coffee and alcohol are not bad for your vocal chords before singing. For the perfect rock singer preparation, drink a hot cup of black coffee 30 minutes before stage and follow it up with a cold draft beer immediately before your performance.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
The Mustache - Reactions
While I have received many shocked and dismayed reactions over the past few days to my announcement of my 'stache-removal, I've been certain to assure people that it is only for the good of my mustache to allow it a full regrowth and to spend some time apart from each other in the interim.
In anticipation of its removal, I have let the mustache grow to epic proportions. I went from sporting a subtle English-style mustache to a full-blown Salvador Dali-style 'stache. It is definitely a topic of conversation, good or bad.
What interests me most in people's reactions to my mustache are two negative reactions that befuddle me.
The first, I've heard many times, and I'm amused with only a slight twinge of dismay. "Wow! I'd love to grow a mustache like that, but my wife would never let me." or "I used to have a mustache, but my girlfriend made me shave it off."
My kneejerk response has always been to uncontrollably blurt out, "Perhaps you should get a new girlfriend/wife." The fact is the man or woman (depending on your preference) who is the right one for any given man or woman will be the one that accepts them completely as they are. I realize that relationships involve give and take and compromise, but one should seek out a mate that is compatible with one's eccentricities. That is why I always say that any woman who dates me must not simply "tolerate" my mustache, she must LOVE my mustache.
Tolerance and love are two different things. You tolerate a crying child, you love your mate.
I think I heard that on a sitcom.
The other negative mustache response I've received comes in various degrees and is sometime not negative at all. That is, occasionally, while shopping at Wal-Mart a group of kids, 'tweens, teens or other ruffians will pass by me and giggle. I don't consider that negative at all; I grew this mustache to be different and unique, and it is incredibly hypocritical to expect people to accept it and not giggle. In fact, giggling at my mustache is a fantastic response! I always smile to myself, knowing that I've brightened someone's day.
I've even caught people doing double-takes or coming back around an aisle conspicuously for another glance. I usually ignore them to allow them the the illusion that they are being sly and unnoticed. This happened several times last night.
When this turns negative is when it makes me feel like I'm in high school again and the target of abject undeserved ridicule. It's one thing to yell "Nice 'stache!" as I pass or something similar, but it's something entirely different to call out "Hey freak!" It's genuinely impolite. This happened last week at the mall, and I'm curious as to what the young man's reaction would have been had I turned around, strode up to him and said "Yes?"
The most extreme form of this happened last night at Wal-Mart. A group of teen girls in rather urban attire were hanging out between the checkout lines and the front door. As I was ringing up my grocies at the self-checkout, they were giggling and pointing at me in a "Look at that!"-manner rather than a "Hey! Nice 'stache!"-manner. As I passed, one of them broke from the pack and ran up behind me. Without saying a word at all to engage me socially, she stepped on the heel of my shoe and ran back to her group.
The only saving grace was that she missed my shoe so woefully that I was able to simply pretend I didn't notice and continue on my way. Had it been more noticeable, I'd have had to turn around and summon up some appropriate inquisitive reaction such as, "Seriously, what the fuck? Honestly, who steps on a shoe?"
The physical contact didn't necessarily upset me, but it confused me in an upsetting manner. Can you justify stepping on the heel of someone's shoe simply because they look different? Even if looking different is intentional and for the purpose of attracting attention, can you reason the need to physically contact that person in a negative manner? The guards at Buckingham Palace are rather stoic to all forms of verbal taunting, but if you honk their nose, they will beat the ever-loving-dogshit out of you.
I said all this simply to document it for entertainment purposes. Overwhelmingly, 99.9% of the comments my mustache draws are wonderfully positive and amusing. I am very much looking forward to re-growing my 'stache and enjoying the comments it draws in the future.
I'll leave you with this anecdote: A month ago, I walked into a tattoo and piercing shop to visit a friend and have a couple piercings done. The owner of the shop exclaimed, "Is that mustache real!? That is the CRAAAZZZIEST thing I've EVER seen!!!"
To which I replied, "Really? And what exactly is your basis of comparison?"
In anticipation of its removal, I have let the mustache grow to epic proportions. I went from sporting a subtle English-style mustache to a full-blown Salvador Dali-style 'stache. It is definitely a topic of conversation, good or bad.
What interests me most in people's reactions to my mustache are two negative reactions that befuddle me.
The first, I've heard many times, and I'm amused with only a slight twinge of dismay. "Wow! I'd love to grow a mustache like that, but my wife would never let me." or "I used to have a mustache, but my girlfriend made me shave it off."
My kneejerk response has always been to uncontrollably blurt out, "Perhaps you should get a new girlfriend/wife." The fact is the man or woman (depending on your preference) who is the right one for any given man or woman will be the one that accepts them completely as they are. I realize that relationships involve give and take and compromise, but one should seek out a mate that is compatible with one's eccentricities. That is why I always say that any woman who dates me must not simply "tolerate" my mustache, she must LOVE my mustache.
Tolerance and love are two different things. You tolerate a crying child, you love your mate.
I think I heard that on a sitcom.
The other negative mustache response I've received comes in various degrees and is sometime not negative at all. That is, occasionally, while shopping at Wal-Mart a group of kids, 'tweens, teens or other ruffians will pass by me and giggle. I don't consider that negative at all; I grew this mustache to be different and unique, and it is incredibly hypocritical to expect people to accept it and not giggle. In fact, giggling at my mustache is a fantastic response! I always smile to myself, knowing that I've brightened someone's day.
I've even caught people doing double-takes or coming back around an aisle conspicuously for another glance. I usually ignore them to allow them the the illusion that they are being sly and unnoticed. This happened several times last night.
When this turns negative is when it makes me feel like I'm in high school again and the target of abject undeserved ridicule. It's one thing to yell "Nice 'stache!" as I pass or something similar, but it's something entirely different to call out "Hey freak!" It's genuinely impolite. This happened last week at the mall, and I'm curious as to what the young man's reaction would have been had I turned around, strode up to him and said "Yes?"
The most extreme form of this happened last night at Wal-Mart. A group of teen girls in rather urban attire were hanging out between the checkout lines and the front door. As I was ringing up my grocies at the self-checkout, they were giggling and pointing at me in a "Look at that!"-manner rather than a "Hey! Nice 'stache!"-manner. As I passed, one of them broke from the pack and ran up behind me. Without saying a word at all to engage me socially, she stepped on the heel of my shoe and ran back to her group.
The only saving grace was that she missed my shoe so woefully that I was able to simply pretend I didn't notice and continue on my way. Had it been more noticeable, I'd have had to turn around and summon up some appropriate inquisitive reaction such as, "Seriously, what the fuck? Honestly, who steps on a shoe?"
The physical contact didn't necessarily upset me, but it confused me in an upsetting manner. Can you justify stepping on the heel of someone's shoe simply because they look different? Even if looking different is intentional and for the purpose of attracting attention, can you reason the need to physically contact that person in a negative manner? The guards at Buckingham Palace are rather stoic to all forms of verbal taunting, but if you honk their nose, they will beat the ever-loving-dogshit out of you.
I said all this simply to document it for entertainment purposes. Overwhelmingly, 99.9% of the comments my mustache draws are wonderfully positive and amusing. I am very much looking forward to re-growing my 'stache and enjoying the comments it draws in the future.
I'll leave you with this anecdote: A month ago, I walked into a tattoo and piercing shop to visit a friend and have a couple piercings done. The owner of the shop exclaimed, "Is that mustache real!? That is the CRAAAZZZIEST thing I've EVER seen!!!"
To which I replied, "Really? And what exactly is your basis of comparison?"
The Mustache - New Beginnings
The one thing I regret daily when looking in the mirror is that I did not have an opportunity to document the growth of my mustache. Lance often photographs or videos amusing or defining moments in my life, but he was busy fighting George's War while I was busy growing my 'stache.
The other thing I regret, perhaps weekly, is that I didn't have a clue what I was doing when I initially grew my mustache, and an ill-performed undercut left it somewhat irreparably asymmetrical in a manner only perceivable to myself and someone otherwise intimately familiar with my facial hair.
They say that if you love something, you should let it go. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be. As much as I hate speaking in cliches (I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a grapefruit spoon than use a cliche), this is what is the destiny of the 'stache. I'm not getting rid of it, per se, I'm merely letting it grow again to it's full potential. I will not be without 'stache, it will merely be hiding beneath the surface of my upper lip until it returns to it's full glory.
It should probably take two to three months before my mustache has reappeared in any recognizable form, and I'm sure there will be a couple weeks when it is too short to wax, but too long to leave unwaxed. Waxing it at this point will leave me looking like Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove (as Mandrake. Did you know he played Mandrake as well?).
The decided date for the trim is tomorrow morning after my Saturday evening festivities. I will be documenting the whole process and monologging unnecessarily throughout.
The other thing I regret, perhaps weekly, is that I didn't have a clue what I was doing when I initially grew my mustache, and an ill-performed undercut left it somewhat irreparably asymmetrical in a manner only perceivable to myself and someone otherwise intimately familiar with my facial hair.
They say that if you love something, you should let it go. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be. As much as I hate speaking in cliches (I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a grapefruit spoon than use a cliche), this is what is the destiny of the 'stache. I'm not getting rid of it, per se, I'm merely letting it grow again to it's full potential. I will not be without 'stache, it will merely be hiding beneath the surface of my upper lip until it returns to it's full glory.
It should probably take two to three months before my mustache has reappeared in any recognizable form, and I'm sure there will be a couple weeks when it is too short to wax, but too long to leave unwaxed. Waxing it at this point will leave me looking like Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove (as Mandrake. Did you know he played Mandrake as well?).
The decided date for the trim is tomorrow morning after my Saturday evening festivities. I will be documenting the whole process and monologging unnecessarily throughout.
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